


Unexpectedly

by kyaappucino



Series: Demi/Pan [1]
Category: VIXX
Genre: Demisexual Character, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-11
Updated: 2016-04-11
Packaged: 2018-06-01 13:34:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6521836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kyaappucino/pseuds/kyaappucino
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eventually, when Hakyeon reaches out to hug Taekwoon, he doesn’t flinch and doesn’t push him away–and just like that, Taekwoon gets used to Hakyeon’s touches, Hakyeon’s hugs.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unexpectedly

**Author's Note:**

> I’d had somewhat of a rough day yesterday and after talking to a friend about it, opened up my phone and this thing just came tumbling out. Taekwoon is demisexual in this fic.
> 
> I’ll expand on this sometime, but for now I just wanted to post it~ it's also posted onto my tumblr. ^^

He just isn’t used to physical affection. Somewhere along the way, when Taekwoon grows out of being a cute little boy and becomes a gangly, awkward teenager, he began to dislike physical touch. For him, his family’s embraces become too overwhelming and he wants it to stop, and he finds that he doesn’t like the feeling of being embraced for too long. Taekwoon shrinks away from physical affection, and so his family shows their love for him through actions, rather than through words and touches.

And that, Taekwoon thinks is something he will always be thankful for. His family and the few friends who understand him. The people that don’t question why Taekwoon allows others to embrace him, but his arms remain limp at his sides, politely waiting for the other party to let go. When they do, the breath Taekwoon’s been holding is released and his body relaxes considerably. It’s not like he’s unfriendly, no—he just doesn’t like being touched for far too long, unless it’s him who reaches out first.

The latter nearly never happens, and while he does have people to hang out with, he just isn’t able to open up completely towards them. There are many times when he feels guilty about this; times when he wishes he didn’t hold his own friends and family at a safe distance.

But he does, and it’s just something that everyone around him had come to accept. Jung Taekwoon has his own thoughts and secrets that are reserved for him, and forcibly trying to pry him open would just make him withdraw even further inside of himself.

♡

So when he becomes a trainee and meets Cha Hakyeon, he hopes that the other boy would amuse himself with the others, and would leave him alone. He becomes genuinely irritated when it becomes evident that Hakyeon doesn’t respect the concept of personal space, and visibly stiffens and pushes Hakyeon away when the elder tries to hug him.

Long before he grew into his long-limbed body and broad shoulders, Taekwoon had always felt self-conscious of his eyes. They were small and cat-like, and coupled with his poker face and quiet personality, strangers and acquaintances could always assume that Taekwoon could either be really pissed off or that he just didn’t enjoy interacting with people.

They would be partially right, and he thinks that maybe a glare would scare off Cha Hakyeon—but he’s wrong. Hakyeon isn’t scared of him, of his eyes or his lack of smiles. Where everyone is too intimidated to come forward, there is the golden-skinned trainee who becomes acting leader, who bravely walks towards him and starts chattering even if he knows that Taekwoon would rarely give a reply, choosing to nod and speak when he does have some comment or other every once in awhile and that seems to satisfy Hakyeon.

This is how, little by little, Hakyeon builds a bridge from himself to Taekwoon’s heart, and he doesn’t even know how it happens but one day Taekwoon finds himself looking at Hakyeon; of how enthusiastically he bids his friends goodbye and leaves them to eat lunch with Taekwoon. Worries about Hakyeon getting angry or getting tired of trying to come closer plague Taekwoon—he’s terrified that at one point, if he keeps pushing Hakyeon away then Hakyeon will stop trying or get really angry, and Taekwoon doesn’t want that to happen. He’s glad, and a little surprised when Hakyeon returns, always tries again, giving Taekwoon a reason to pull out one of his headphones as the elder talks to him about everything and nothing.

Sometimes Taekwoon listens, but mostly he concentrates on Hakyeon’s voice, the excitement in his tone bleeding onto Taekwoon. And when the other notices the little quiver of a smile playing on the younger’s lips, it just encourages him more, makes him try a little harder each day.  It makes Taekwoon’s heart feel a bit warmer, when he sees that there’s someone who is willing to patiently chip away at the ice that surrounds Taekwoon’s heart. Eventually, when Hakyeon reaches out to hug Taekwoon, he doesn’t flinch and doesn’t push him away–and just like that, Taekwoon gets used to Hakyeon’s touches, Hakyeon’s hugs.

♡

Taekwoon is always surprised at how Hakyeon seems to sense when Taekwoon wants to be touched or held the most, like after they’ve bid goodbye to their fellow contestants after Jaehwan has been chosen and they’ve been called VIXX for the first time. It’s strange, he thinks, for six to return instead of ten. He’s happy for himself and his new bandmates because this is their dream, but sadness still hits him at dinnertime, weighs down on him so much that he barely pays attention to the conversation at the table as he concentrates on shoveling food into his mouth.

So when Hakyeon gently pulls him into an embrace after Taekwoon brushes his teeth in the bathroom, he’s surprised at himself when his arms wrap around Hakyeon’s body and hugs back, listening as Hakyeon whispers, “It’s okay, Woonie. You don’t have to carry it all by yourself.” And for the first time since he left home to chase after his dream to become a singer—he allows the tears to fall, clings onto Hakyeon as if he’s a port in the heavy storm of Taekwoon’s feelings.

He’s been so used to fixing himself up that he’s forgotten how it feels like to be comforted. Every so often, when Taekwoon stumbles he goes into a secret corner of himself, deep in the darkness and cries it out, telling himself that afterwards, he can do something about it. He often tells himself that he’s fine and that he doesn’t need the soothing touches, the gentle caresses, of words being murmured into his hair.

But when it’s Hakyeon who reaches out and wraps his arms around Taekwoon’s gigantic, trembling form when they’re alone in their shared bedroom in the dorm—Taekwoon’s body starts to relax and finally, he’s able to stop being so…distant, from everyone.

In his mind’s eye, he sees a completed bridge, and there’s a sign on it that says “From Me to You.” And on the other side of the bridge is happy, smiling Hakyeon with his hand outstretched, waiting.

Taekwoon steps on this bridge and walks, carrying his introverted heart with him, knowing that Hakyeon would be patient enough, willing enough to hold it in his dusky fingers and feel each groove with care, as if it’s precious.

That’s the moment when, Hakyeon jumped from “someone I know” to “my lifelong friend.”

He smiles when Hakyeon gives this answer in an interview, that Hakyeon and Taekwoon are friends for life.

Taekwoon bows his head in embarrassment, and tries to ignore the painful throb in his heart.

♡ 

There are still times when Hakyeon’s clinginess becomes overbearing, however, especially when it’s a free day and he’s chattering happily with Jaehwan and Wonshik. Taekwoon is on the couch, drinking a cup of coffee and just observing their banter, perfectly contented. 

He shakes his head when Hakyeon wants him to join in, and resists when Hakyeon tugs at his arm playfully. 

“Fine, be that way,” Hakyeon says, his lips pursing into a mock-pout and he suddenly lets go of Taekwoon’s arm. The action causes the cup of coffee to spill its contents a little, staining the front of Taekwoon’s white t-shirt. There’s an uncomfortable silence in the room as Taekwoon stands up, walks past all three of them and continues drinking his cup of brew, placing the now empty cup in the sink. 

For the rest of the evening, he ignores Hakyeon and trades with Jaehwan, so that night Taekwoon’s sleeping soundly beside Wonshik. Apologies tumble out of Hakyeon’s lips the next morning at breakfast, but Taekwoon listens to none of them. It isn’t about the coffee, really. It’s about Hakyeon forcing him to do something when Taekwoon clearly said no, and he just needs a little time and distance to himself, to cool his head.

The rest of the members look concerned, but while they’re out practising their choreography and attending photo shoots, Taekwoon gives Hakyeon a little smile and during their break, Hakyeon hands him a can of coffee, and all is forgiven again.

Hakyeon occupies more space than normal in Taekwoon’s heart, but there’s no way he’d ever tell him _that_.


End file.
